Don't Leave me Now
by A Shot of Amber
Summary: Her death took my soul to the heavens. I hated to say goodby when it was not the time too.


Don't Leave Me Now  
By: Essence  
  
  
Warning this is a hopefully extremely sad story. I thought it up one night while lying in my bed and staring at a poster of Mamoru and Usagi above my head. I played out the entire story in my head and when I was done I was about ready to cry so I wrote it done and now I'm letting the world read it. I hope you all enjoy.  
  
Disclaimer: (Breaks out the tissues) I *sniff* do not own Sailor Moon. It belongs to *sniff, sniff* still belongs to all people but me. * Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! *  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru jogged up the stone concrete stairs that would allow him to see all of Tokyo when he got to the top. His one and only love Usako would be up there waiting for him sitting on a bench watching the stairs for the first sign of his coming. Mamoru ran faster with anticipation and his eyes came over the concrete to see that Usagi was indeed sitting on a park bench but her wet cheeks and slouched posture spoke of a different story. Mamoru ran up the last few steps and over to the bench wanting only to cradle his Usako and chase away her worries.   
  
Usagi looked up the sky, watching white clouds floating in a blue orb of color. She had just come from the doctor the news that he had for her still ringing in her brain. Those simple words had broken her bright and happy life sending her into darkness. Usagi didn't even look down from the sky as Mamoru passed by her and sat down. The news would kill him send him into the same darkness she was in but yet they still would never be together.  
  
" Usako what's wrong?" Mamoru asked taking Usagi's slim hands into his own and marveling at the coldness of them.  
  
" Mamo-chan, do you love me?" Usagi asked watching a cloud that headed for the sun drift lazily over her head.  
Mamoru was little taken back by this statement but he answered her with words from deep in his heart.  
  
" Yes I do Usako, I love you more then the sun and the moon and I will love till the stars fall upon and even then I will still love you."  
  
" So you would love me no matter what?" Usagi asked looking into Mamoru's storm blue eyes and straightening her posture.  
  
" I will always love you Usako but why do you ask such a question?"  
Usagi looked down at the ground at this point her heart wheeling up in fear of what she was to now tell Mamoru.  
  
" Mamo-chan, I went to the doctor today," Usagi started her voice wavering slightly as she continued to study the ground avoiding Mamoru's puzzled gaze.  
  
" He had some news for me, some bad news." Usagi continued her voice cracking ever so slightly.  
  
" What? What is it Usako?" Mamoru asked fear driving a cold steel knife into his heart.  
  
" He gave me some very bad news today," Usagi repeated looking into Mamoru's eyes her own aqua blue one's brimming with tears.  
  
" He told me that the lump the removed from breast was cancerous. I have breast cancer." Usagi said breaking into tears after the last word and launching herself into Mamoru's arms.   
  
Mamoru felt the cold knife wedge itself deeply into his heart touching the deepest depths of his soul. He held his angel in his arms while she cried into the white cotton of his shirt.  
Mamoru stared over Usagi's head at the skyline of Tokyo millions of thoughts running through his head at once.  
  
"They did tell me though, Mamo-chan that I can have chemo therapy but there is a slim chance I can take it since the cancer has been around longer then they expected and it's had a chance to spread to other areas." Usagi said looking up from Mamoru's wet shirt into his eyes.   
  
Mamoru stroked her blonde hair and smiled down at his angel, hiding all his fears deep   
down inside of him.  
  
" Usako I think you should do the chemo. You will survive just think of Crystal   
Tokyo and Chibiusa when your under the treatment and I want you to know that I will always be right there for you when your done."   
  
Usagi nodded then laid her head back on Mamoru's chest, wet from her tears.   
  
Mamoru continued to stroke her hair as he stared up at the sky worrying about what if his angel did fall. A cloud had covered the sun shrouding the lonely couple in deep shadow.  
  
  
* A Couple Months Later*  
  
Mamoru sat upon the cold hard plastic of the hospital chair his head buried in his hands. The inner and outer senshi sat scattered around the waiting room of the hospital not moving or talking but just sitting there staring into space all their minds concentrating on their princess who lay in a hospital bed fighting for her life.  
  
Ever since the girls had found out Usagi had breast cancer they had been there for her. Speaking only kind words to her and giving her all the encouragement they could give but that was still not enough. Mamoru had gone to all the chemo sessions with Usagi staying with her and making sure she knew he loved her but that had not been enough.   
  
After the last session Usagi had gone home felling tired saying she only wanted to rest and be left alone. Everyone had complied too her wishes even they had all wanted to see her. The next morning when Usagi did not come down for breakfast or answer the calls of her name her mother had gone upstairs to investigate thinking Usagi was still asleep. Instead she found Usagi lying unconscious on the floor not breathing her skin as cold as ice. Usagi was rushed to the emergency room and hooked up to life support while Mamoru and the Senshi were called and told to come to the hospital. Mamoru was the first one there, he had rushed into the waiting room hoping to see his angel but was told by Kengi and Inuko that no one was allowed to see her yet and so know he sat 10 hours later waiting to see his angel. Her parents were allowed to go in first and so now it was just him and the senshi, the quiet, crying senshi.  
  
A door opened and the tall gray haired doctor came out holding a clipboard. Everyone in the room looked up at him while Mamoru jumped out of seat to stand in front of the doctor.  
  
" Is she alright? May I see her now?" He asked in breathless unison.  
  
The doctor nodded his head gravely then looked straight into Mamoru's eyes with his own grave gray ones.  
  
" I must warn you though, she is very weak and is having a harder and harder time breathing. I'm not sure how much longer she will last."   
  
The senshi behind him gasped and Hotaru gave a little cry of shock while Setsuna looked to her side to the ground all intentions of going to the time gate running strong.   
  
Mamoru just nodded and stepped past the doctor into the white hallway beyond the door. He walked past all other people in a blur of color in till he came upon Usgai's room. The door was shut and inside he could hear the soft beeping of the machines. Mamoru took a deep breathe then placed his hand on the doorknob and opened up the door. The inside of the room was dim, a little light coming from the closed blind and the door but that was it. Mamoru closed the door behind him the stepped forward toward the bed where his angel lay. Her blond hair lay all around her like golden silk mixing with the tubes that ran from her body to the machines next to her. Usagi lay propped up her eyes closed her hands resting on the pale blue blanket of her bed. Mamoru rushed over to the bed and knelt by it taking one of Usagi's cold hands in his own hands. Usagi opened her eyes and turned her head slightly to see Mamoru kneeling next to her. She smiled at him softly then took a short stuttering breath before speaking softly to him. Her voice was weak and filled with pain she had to tell he one love all she needed to say before it was to late.  
  
" They said it's too late for me," Usagi said breaking the silence of the room.  
  
Mamoru felt his heart jump into his throat but he ignored it and looked up at his angel. She was staring at the wall in front of her breathing in short quick breaths.  
  
" Usako, You will live through this all, together you and I will rule Crystal Tokyo and have Chibiusa together and when we die it will be together in the warmth of each others arms not like this." Mamoru replied tears falling unchecked from his eyes.  
  
Usagi turned to look at him then ever so slowly she let go of his hand traced the planes of Mamoru's face. Saying only,  
  
" Mamo-chan, Aishitru."   
  
Mamoru took her hand and kissed each fingertip before looking into her ocean blue eyes.  
  
At this point there was a knock on the door and the doctor entered still carrying his clipboard. He stepped up to the edge of the hospital bed and looked down at the couple with stern eyes.  
  
" I feel it's best if you go home now Mr. Chiba, Miss Tuskino needs to rest and we will call you with any changes in her condition."  
  
Mamoru nodded feeling all of sudden to wary to even disagree with the doctor. He got up from his kneeling position still holding Usagi's hand. He looked down at her with loving eyes then bent down a gently kissed her pale lips. As he pulled away he pulled a red rose from his green coat and placed it gently in her hand.  
  
" Aishiteru, Usako."  
  
Mamoru then straightened up and let go of Usagi's hand, he gave her one more loving glance then turned and walked out of the room followed by the doctor who closed the door behind the him.  
  
" Good-Bye, Mamo-chan," Usagi whispered as the doctor closed the door behind her love.  
  
Mamoru stepped out of the hospital into the starry night. All the other senshi had left already and now he was alone. Mamoru stopped walking to his car and instead stared up the stars above him. He had never seen so many stars at once and the moon was so bright and full casting everything with silver light. Suddenly a shooting star streaked across the sky right above Mamoru. A thought came back to him from the depths of his mind, once a long time ago in the orphanage when he had been watching the stars someone had told him that when ever you see a shooting star it means that someone is about to die. Mamoru smiled at this old thought then proceeded to his car.  
  
* Meanwhile*  
  
Usagi lay flat in her bed staring at the red rose Mamoru has given her standing in it's glass vase. She could feel a bright-unknown force pulling her away from life but always the pain kept her from the unknown light. Usagi turned her head and looked at the machines she was hooked up too then back to the rose. Ever so softly Usagi thought she could hear the sound of laughter, with weak cold finger tips Usagi unhooked the tubes from her body and let them drop to the ground. When she was free of it all Usagi stared back at the rose. It stood out proud and beautiful among the darkness of the room but one of the petals looked lose like it was about to fall but yet still wanted to cling on. Usagi could feel the white light pulling her farther and farther away from the pain. She looked up toward the ceiling where moonbeams shone, it was all over, there would be no more pain, and she was finally free. Usagi began to think of a song she had heard a long time ago. She had always thought the song was so beautiful and now Usagi recalled the words back to her mind.   
  
Wishing on a dream that seems far off,   
Hoping that it will come today.  
Into the starlit night foolish dreamers turn their gaze,  
Waiting on a shooting star.  
But what if that star is not to come?  
Will their dreams fade to nothing?  
When the horizon darkens most,  
We all need to believe there is hope.  
Is an angel watching closely over me?  
Can there be a guiding light I yet to see?  
I know my heart should guide me but,  
There's a hole with in my soul.  
What will fill this emptiness inside of me?  
Am I to be satisfied without knowing,  
I wish then for a chance to see now all I need (desperately),  
Is my star to come?  
  
The sounds of angles voices mixed with a young girls laughter was heard by no one in the room as a petal of the rose fell floating softly onto a wooden table top.  
  
*Sometime After*  
  
Mamoru stared at the people across from him. Rei and Ami stood next to each other, Ami silently crying with tears falling from her eyes while Rei wiped away her own tears. Makoto and Minako stood next to the other two also crying. Hotaru was wailing into Setsuna's black skirt. Her sobs muffled ever so slightly. The only ones who did not cry where Michiru, Haruka, and Setsuna. They stood there holding their pain under the surface waiting to be alone to let lose the tears that threatened to spill.   
  
Mamoru looked at the white casket the pallbearers brought in front of the small group of people standing around a grave. Mamoru watched with his heart in his throat as the pallbearers set the casket next to the deeply dug grave then stepped back into the crowd. A priest stepped forward clap in black with his bible in his hands. He began to read but Mamoru did not hear all he could see was the white casket in front of him that contained his angel. She lay upon a cushion of blue silk her blonde hair spread around her like a garment of gold. She was gone, her candle was no longer lit, and her light was gone. Mamoru felt the tears come to his eyes but he brushed them away there would be no use in crying he must be strong and shown no emotion.   
  
The other senshi noticed the way Mamoru held himself his hands clasped tightly in front of him as he stared at the white casket in front of them. When the preacher was done with his sermon they all stepped forward and whispered their prayers to him each, which he took with a simple nod of his head. When Setsuna finally spoke her words were simple and clear laced with pain.   
  
" The future princess has fallen. All memories are gone."  
  
Mamoru looked up at Setsuna; two single tears were falling down her cheeks. Mamoru felt his heart shatter and fall to the very depths of his soul. He nodded to her then turned back to the casket. The senshi turned and walked away from Mamoru leaving him alone with the casket. Mamoru stepped forward kneeled down in front of the casket he placed both hands on the smooth wooden lid and burst into tears. He had meant to cry but the tears came any way. Mamoru looked up through tear filled eyes to the green grass, trees, and graves that surrounded him. The only thought that could truly comfort him was the fact that his angel was not truly alone, she flew with the angels in heaven now and soon they would be together. Mamoru stood up looked down at the casket, he placed his hand into his jacket and pulled out one red rose and gently placed it on the casket. Then he turned around and walked away. Not turning back just looking straight ahead freezing his heart to the world just as he had done before until she came and showed him the true meaning of life and love.  
  
The End. Okay tissue time, boy that story is my saddest one yet. The song I use in here is from a personal C.D. my friend James gave me. It's call Lunar Boat Song and is from the video game Lunar. I just thought it sort of fit the story since it has a really slow melody and is kind of sad sounding. Please send all comments, suggustions, mariage purposels, and flames to Saliormoon175@hotmail.com.  
  
  
  
  



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